love/hate

I'm getting ready for a lot of big changes in my life. I'm relocating to a different state, getting a new job, living in a different town, and I need to buy a new car. I'm so excited about the changes, but at the same time I'm SO stressed. Finding a new job is stressful, finding a new apartment is stressful, buying a new car is stressful, being an adult is stressful. I'm trying to enjoy the process so that I look back on this time with fond memories, but I don't think I can until everything is settled and done. I'm also really sad about leaving my current job. I love taking care of Ela, she is the sweetest, most precious baby in this world, and I know shes not going to remember this past year that I have spent with her and it breaks my heart. I have given so much of myself to her and I love her so dearly and in 3 months I'm just leaving. I'm going to cry like a baby the day I drive away, she has been such a precious gift in my life. But its time for me to move on with my life and get things together for myself, its time for me to find what I'm supposed to do on this earth. I need to be close to my friends and family again, I need to get my life back. I hate change and I love change. 

"Love writes a letter and sends it to hate.

My vacations ending. I'm coming home late.
The weather was fine and the ocean was great
and I can't wait to see you again." - The Avett Brothers